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Foretravel Motorhome Forums => Foretravel Discussions => Topic started by: John/Pat on October 10, 2021, 08:35:49 am

Title: My Patricia Has Died
Post by: John/Pat on October 10, 2021, 08:35:49 am
I know that only a few of you know me but I wanted to ask for help. Because of the outstanding character of our members I have been able to enjoy and learn so very much. Thank you to all the members that have answer my sometime dumb questions.
Vietnam was hard but caring for my wife of 54 years with pancreatic cancer was the hardest thing I have ever done. Last 5 days of her life she suffered so much pain it broke my heart. Thank you again and I hope I have not broke any rules. John M Seasly
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Travelin' Man (RIP) on October 10, 2021, 08:56:14 am
May God bless you both.
I don't know what else to say John.
Prayers out.
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Jeff & Sandy on October 10, 2021, 09:04:07 am
So sorry for your loss.
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: dsd on October 10, 2021, 09:28:43 am
Unimaginable loss. It pains everyone to hear of your loss.
Scott and KIm
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Andy 2 on October 10, 2021, 09:31:53 am
Sorry for your loss, Gods speed.
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Chuck & Jeannie on October 10, 2021, 09:46:11 am
I know that only a few of you know me but I wanted to ask for help.
Tell us what we can do to help you.

Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: pthurman48 on October 10, 2021, 10:02:01 am
John, I will pray that GOD will give you peace and grace to continue on until your times comes, always remembering her and what she would want you to do without her.

Praying,
 Pat,
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Herb Stark on October 10, 2021, 10:04:10 am
John,
I give thanks for the 54 years you shared with Patricia and pray the memories of the good times will soon temper the pain of today.
Herb and Willie
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Hans&Marjet on October 10, 2021, 10:09:39 am
Very Sorry for your loss

Hans&Marjet
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: nitehawk on October 10, 2021, 10:20:45 am
John, cancer is a mean, nasty disease that steals those we love and cherish away from us.
Nothing, and I do mean nothing can erase the pain you are going thru.
What will help is for you to concentrate on all the good times and memories you created with Patricia.
God gave both of you a gift when He brought you together. 54 years!! How many other couples can attest to that amount of bliss?
My DW and I celebrated 58 years this last September 20th, and every day I thank God for her.
Do the same for your Patricia and He will ease your pain.
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Roger & Susan in Home2 on October 10, 2021, 10:41:36 am
These difficult days will always be there but 54 years of everything else will wash over them in time and your memories will be mostly of all of the good times and things you shared. They are and will be the foundation of undying love and memories going forward. Patricia will always be with you, just a thought away.  Thank you for your loving care.

Roger and Susan
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Phranko on October 10, 2021, 10:50:10 am
John our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Cancer sucks!
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Carol Savournin on October 10, 2021, 10:55:51 am
So very, very sorry to hear this sad news. It is a something that most of us think about ... and mentally try out the idea of having to live without our beloved friend, because we know it is coming ... but the reality is so much more devastating than we are ever able to imagine. Dealing with grief that immense is like trying to stay upright in the ocean. We are able to maintain for certain periods, but when the big waves come we can only duck under and let them wash over us.  You have to go through them to have a hope of regaining your feet and gasping more air. 

In my mind, the only way to manage that hole in your heart is to embroider the edges with memories, to keep it from growing larger. You are her witness that there was a life well lived ... not by a saint, but a real, perfectly imperfect human being who was loved and is missed, and left this world a little bit better place.  That is a legacy that all of us can aspire to! 

Be well, friend ... you can do this.
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: oldguy on October 10, 2021, 11:28:46 am
Sorry for your loss
Peter and Freida
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Tommy D on October 10, 2021, 11:53:52 am
Sorry for your loss, prayers.
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: dbennett9 on October 10, 2021, 01:15:28 pm
We are so sorry for your loss. There are no words that can take away your grief, but hold on to the knowledge that no one is truly gone so long as you hold that person in your heart. Hold on to the memory of your Patricia now and her love will sustain you as it has the last 54 years. May God bless both of you. You are in our prayers.

Dave and Kathy Bennett
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Joe Phebus on October 10, 2021, 01:45:24 pm
So sorry for your loss.  You and Patricia must have collected so many memories together.  What a gift, let the tears come but hold tight to those memories.  In the end, its the one treasure that really matters.
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Pierce & Gaylie Stewart on October 10, 2021, 02:10:28 pm
As others have said, so very sorry for your loss. Nothing is worse than the loss of a child or life partner.

Pierce and Gaylie
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Michelle on October 10, 2021, 02:15:14 pm
Steve and I are so very sorry for your loss...  May you find comfort in knowing she is no longer suffering and know her spirit and your memories live on in your heart...

If there is something the Forum can do to help, please reach out to us.
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Cape Bretoner on October 10, 2021, 02:28:34 pm
Sorry for your loss you are in my prayers I we'll pray
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: FourTravelers on October 10, 2021, 03:12:38 pm
John,
In this difficult time.......... know that we and your Fore Forum family have you in our thoughts and prayers.

Justin & Cathy
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: erniee on October 10, 2021, 03:15:46 pm
Sorry for your loss
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: bigdog on October 10, 2021, 03:37:45 pm
As mere mortals, We are more often quite unprepared for these life changing events. 

In the gospel of John, Jesus says:
"My father's house has many rooms."
Those who are grieving may be comforted knowing that their loved one lives in these rooms with Jesus and that there's a room prepared for them.

Death is not a final goodbye, But an "until we meet again" Lean on the lord and lean on your family and friends. They are here to help in your time of need.
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Lt403 on October 10, 2021, 03:57:41 pm
Wishing you the best during these difficult times John.
Frank & Daisy
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Jack Lewis on October 10, 2021, 03:59:55 pm
John/Pat. God Bless You.  I am sorry for your loss.
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Gerry Vicha on October 10, 2021, 04:42:10 pm
May God Bless You, Your Dear Wife of 54 Years is no longer suffering, Find peace knowing the Good Times You Two Shared Together. Your loss is Great, Your Memories will help You to Survive.... R.I.P. Patricia
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: WBates on October 10, 2021, 04:44:00 pm
John, I do not pretend to know the depth of your pain but I know of someone who does. His name is Jesus. Psalm 34:18 says The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit. Talk to Him. I am so sorry for your great loss. Behind every good man is a better woman.
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: WS6_Keith on October 10, 2021, 04:59:07 pm
So sorry for your loss.
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Seven7 on October 10, 2021, 05:12:36 pm
So sorry for your loss John.

Glen
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: gracerace on October 10, 2021, 06:04:03 pm
John, so sorry for your pain and your loss. So many people on here, have said so many more kinder words. I agree with all of them.

You will be in our every day prayers and thoughts.And yes, anything we can do to help, we are here for you.

Chris and Tammy White
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: red tractor on October 10, 2021, 07:09:53 pm
So sorry for your loss. Praying that you can find strength in God who will get us through the tough times.
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: hdff on October 10, 2021, 07:15:11 pm
Sorry for your loss. I have never met you but if there is anything I can do please don't hesitate to ask. I can't imagine a loss like that.



Keith
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Sven and Kristi on October 10, 2021, 07:33:48 pm
There are many memories that only the two of you shared and to know that she is no longer there to remember them with you can be the loneliest feeling.  Share as many of those memories as you can with loved ones (even your pooch); hopefully, there will be a time when this reflection stops being so sad, but brings back the happy thoughts.  I'm trying to avoid the usual platitudes that come on these occasions, but you will be in our thoughts in the coming days.  We hope to see you on the trail.
Sven and Kristi
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: rbark on October 10, 2021, 08:14:40 pm
John, so sorry for your loss. Words just can not express the sorrow you must be going through at this time.
 May Pat Rest In Peace🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: propman on October 10, 2021, 08:15:18 pm
So sorry for your loss, our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Tauna & Al
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Texhub on October 10, 2021, 09:53:34 pm
I am west of San Antonio Texas, if you need help just ask.  Sad yet, joyful moment!
Mark
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: bpal on October 10, 2021, 11:56:54 pm
John,

Life can only be lived sequentially going forward but can be remembered in any order looking back. You have 54 years of memories with Pat to cherish. Although the last few days have been brutal know that your presence provided comfort that only you could provide. We hope each day eases your pain a little more. Please continue to seek conversation and comfort in this and your local community.

Take care,
Bruce and Linda
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Bill and Marsha on October 11, 2021, 08:07:58 am
Prayers for your comfort in this most difficult time.
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Marilyn and Glen Clark on October 11, 2021, 08:28:47 am
Sorry for your loss.

Marilyn and Glen Clark
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Jorob on October 11, 2021, 11:06:03 am
So sorry for your loss. Prayers for you in this most difficult time.
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: John & Genni on October 11, 2021, 12:44:33 pm
Rest assured that your Foretravel family feels your pain and wish for comfort, strength, and healing for you and your family. Prayers for your peace of mind, and strength to carry on!
John & Genni
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Bob & Sue on October 11, 2021, 12:48:16 pm
John
So sorry for your loss.  Ive heard it said that our partners in life shape who we are so , know that you carry that change within you and you'll always be a special person because of Patricia in your life.  And nothing can take that away from you.
 
  R.I.P.  Patty.

 Robert and Susan Moe.
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Chuck Pearson on October 11, 2021, 02:27:24 pm
May the years of good memories of your darling Pat sustain you in this time.
So sorry for your unimaginable loss, love to you both.

Chuck and Reta
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: Yurre on October 11, 2021, 06:02:54 pm
Prayers from NC...
Title: Re: my Patricia is died
Post by: 442john on October 11, 2021, 06:23:20 pm
Praying for your comfort!!
Title: Re: My Patricia Has Died
Post by: Kiwitex on October 11, 2021, 07:01:10 pm
Dear John,
So very sorry to hear of your great loss, wishing you and Pat both the greatest peace there is.
Kiwi
Title: Re: My Patricia Has Died
Post by: ggafchap on October 11, 2021, 07:58:22 pm
So very sorry; Elena and I send condolences and we will ask God to comfort you and your family in your grief.
Title: Re: My Patricia Has Died
Post by: John Haygarth on October 11, 2021, 10:27:41 pm
To John from John, please take care and understand that although the pain is felt when a partner or loved one leaves your side there are imeasurable moments that you will ultimately smile about when you look at her photo, or, just think about the times you spent together. Those times will bring a calm feeling and relive all those years alongside each other and the life lived together. These memories will never fade and this is part of the whole picture of life.
Never feel negative about asking for help because you have many people who are there for you and to help with the healing, be it family or friends. This is a part most of us go through and as others have said, we are there also.
Be well and take care.
John Haygarth, Canada.
Title: Re: My Patricia Has Died
Post by: John/Pat on October 12, 2021, 06:32:58 am
I want to thank all the members for their prayers and kind thoughts. I knew when I joined the Foretravel forum that the support and knowledge of the members was outstanding. Your prayers has made a major change in my emotional health. I am still upset but I know my Patricia is in God's Kingdom and no more pain and suffering. THANK YOU John
Title: Re: My Patricia Has Died
Post by: Old Toolmaker on October 12, 2021, 06:44:12 pm
It's only been a few days John, and you'll miss her for the rest of what I hope for you to be a long life.  It's going to take time to adjust and adapt, but right now, take care of yourself.

Art Joly
Title: Re: My Patricia Has Died
Post by: Keith and Joyce on October 13, 2021, 03:18:11 pm
John,

My most sincere condolences.  It's been 21 years since I lost my Mary Jo at age 38 so I know what you are feeling.  Despite what people say you will not "Get over it" but your life will enter a new phase.  You will never forget Pat but each day will get a little better.
Our prayers are with you.

Keith & Joyce
Title: Re: My Patricia Has Died
Post by: Bob Thomas on October 13, 2021, 09:38:56 pm
John
Like others on this FT forum I urge you to stay close to God in this season.  Pat's time here left a lasting mark on you and others who knew her. She is irreplaceable, but never forgotten.  You'll think of her often and many emotions will flood you for a while.  But don't lose heart, God is near.  He shows up in the kindness of folks around you or in a word that reminds you of Pat.  I offer little but my prayers for you and your family.  From Northern CA:
Title: Re: My Patricia Has Died
Post by: John S on October 14, 2021, 05:07:34 am
I am so sorry for your loss. It is terrible to watch your spouse suffer and to lose one is devastating.  I will keep you in my prayers for comfort and peace.
Title: Re: My Patricia Has Died
Post by: mkc1962 on October 14, 2021, 07:42:36 am
Very sorry for your loss. Keep your faith in life and christ and even this time in life, will become easier to deal with. Our loved ones and their everlasting memories are never forgotten.
Title: Re: My Patricia Has Died
Post by: Spiderhitch on October 14, 2021, 08:56:41 pm
So sorry for your loss. Can't begin to imagine the void you must feel.
Title: Re: My Patricia Has Died
Post by: nbluesky on October 14, 2021, 09:13:22 pm
Reading this was so sad. I am terribly sorry for your loss. Hang in there and stay on the light side.
Title: Re: My Patricia Has Died
Post by: brianefeeze on October 14, 2021, 09:55:08 pm
John, sorry for your loss. You and Pat will be in our prayers.
Title: Re: My Patricia Has Died
Post by: kepeters on October 17, 2021, 12:27:27 am
John,

I married late in life in my middle 30's, and we are approaching only 40 years of marriage.
I am 10 years older than Jeanne, and I am not sure I will make the 50th anniversary.

We had a house fire in November 2018, everything that was not in our guesthouse or barns was lost. It happened while I visited friends in Texas.
The insurance company blamed Jeanne for arson, and after I hired my own fire investigator and several lawyers and sued the company for breach of contract and emotional damages' the company caved in and offered a settlement significantly over my cost estimate.

Nearly three years later Jeanne is still suffering from a stress disorder of being accused to having planned a major felony crime, and I have to concentrate on helping and supporting her with her depression episodes.

We German Prussians are not really brought up to be sensitive and caring, but I am learning.

Why do I tell this to you and the community?

The story of you caring for your wife showed the material you are made off,  decent and honorable people live up to their commitments,

Next time I feel sorry for myself and get frustrated in some silly argument with Jeanne (and at our stage of life most arguments are silly), I will think of you and try to do better.

I am a confused Christian at best, and admire people who have peace with their belief in God.

In the meantime I go with Pascal's Wager.

My condolences for the loss of your wife.

Regards

Klaus